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and this is what happens when I enable "progressive render", it nearly crashed my machine
testes another scene and this behaviour seems to happen only when I'm rendering toon shaders
Adaptive and progressive sampling need to store more data all the time and so it's expected that they use more memory. Furthermore, toon is memory hungry (lots of data is stored per pixel). These two combined I'm not surprised it's using up so much memory.
Reducing your max AA would be my recommendation. Smaller bucket size also seems to help in my testing.